The Golden Girls.

On one side of my house, lives Mrs Burbs very boring, but power washer crazed replacement, on the other side are The Stepfords. They've been there for about six years, and have bred a little too often for my liking. Mr and Mrs Stepford now have three rugrats, a mother in law, and a one eyed poodle, crowding out the house so have put it up for sale. On Saturday, we brought some more stuff back from storage, and were unloading it, with help from the mafia and Ted, when this bloke walked over and said, "Wow, a Spinone pup." After I picked myself up off the floor, that the boy hadn't been called a Labradoodle, I feigned the whole proud parent thing, as the bloke dribbled, all over my lad, and mentioned he was coming to view the house next door. "My girlfriend's got a Spinone."and with that, he yelled down the road to the girlfriend to come and look. This six foot, (actually she was closer to 4ft6ins, but she wore heels that I'd need a step ladder to get into, and an oxygen supply to keep me conscious once I'd got there) stick thin vision of delicate loveliness appeared, (smelling like she'd been the innocent victim of a terrible explosion in Debenhams perfume department) and was so plastered in fake tan, she made Jaffa's finest look anaemic, so I was convinced that anything flying out of a Spinone beard, would give this fragile, orange creature, a terminal case of the vapours, but yep, she really did have a Spinone. The girlfriend proceeded to tell me how beautiful Madge and Pie were, and weren't they a lovely colour. "They're so lovely and golden, compared to mine, who is completely white." I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm obviously far more generous about sharing the spray tan. After about five minutes, I was so done pretending to be interested in what Barbie had to say, whilst holding a nine kilo bucket of worms, that I was thrilled when the bloke said they'd have to go, but did my ears prick up when he asked if we were selling Ted? Not sure yet, give me your mobile number and I'll call you :O)