Thursday, 9 December 2010

Pillows.


























As I've said before, Madge and Pie are best friends. They are pretty much inseperable, they eat, sleep, play, and walk together. They form a united front, against the constant attacks from Ted. The only difference in them, is, Madge likes to sleep on a dug up mess of a bed, and Pie likes the bed to be smooth. Every night, Pie grumbles, while Madge spends ages, digging, and circling, until she's got her side of the bed just right. I decided the best way to keep both of them happy, was to buy Madge some cheap pillows, then she could dig them under her tummy, like she does with the sofa cushions.

I found some for £1 each, and although I thought that was way too cheap, I reckoned I'd just replace them when they got stinky. I put Madges pillows inside some pillow cases and piled them on their bed. Well. it looked like a bedouin brothel, but judging by the way Madge flirts with the farm dogs, I thought she'd feel very comfortable. Bedtime arrived, and the girls plodded upstairs after another hard day. Pie got on her side, which was so neat and tidy, even the toughest US marine sergeant would have been impressed, while Madge leapt on her pile of pillows, and spent the next ten minutes, like a broody hen on speed, trying to get all four of them under her tummy. As one pillow popped out from underneath her, she stood up, and tucked it back with the rest of her clutch, until they were all safe and warm, and Madge had that weird, off with the fairies, smile of satisfaction on her beautiful face. Ted, is used to some of Madges slightly potty behaviour, and didn't interfere, but he kept looking at Madge, then at me, as if to say, are you going to give her some medication, she's being very 'special' tonight, before climbing into bed between the two girls. Madge was ecstatic, Pie was snoring, and for the first time in his life, Ted was totally bewildered. I drifted off to sleep, happy that for a mere £4, I had sorted out Pie and Madges sleeping arrangements. The nightime happiness lasted for two days
I woke up on the third morning, with fluff in my mouth, and a big brown spinone nose staring straight at me. In the blink of an eye, I changed from, good morning lovely boy, to the usual, I'm going to kill you, you little bastard. Madge was pillowless, and I'd woken up in Santa's bloody grotto. He'd disemboweled all four of the pillows, and the contents, were covering the entire bedroom, including the flipping walls. How the hell did he manage to stick it to the bloody walls? Ted was wagging, with that peculiarly vacant spinone expression on his stupid face. FFS, the idiot thinks he's impressed me, he really thinks he's done good!! The more he wagged, the more the clouds of synthetic pillow crap wafted about the room. Why did he choose today to do it? The hoovers drive belt broke yesterday, and I'm going to be spending hours clearing up what looks like the results of a hard days work in an Australian shearing shed, with nothing more than a knackered slicker brush. I needed coffee, I wanted intravenous valium, I should be calling his bloody breeder, and telling her to come and collect him. This dog is NOT what I ordered. I don't need this smelly, lanky, hairy, weapon of mass destruction in my life. I closed the door and stumbled downstairs, followed by Ted, who was still wagging, and oblivious of the fact that I was nowhere near as happy about the state of my bedroom as he thought I should be.
I don't know how long it took to clear up, and I don't know why Ted thought I needed his help to do it, but he did, and I don't know why I kissed him and said you're my special boy, but I did.
Madge now has four new pillows, that are sewn into pillowcases, and judging by the amount of time she spends incubating them, I reckon they should hatch before Christmas.

4 comments:

  1. Mine all like nice neat beds but Zeta's the one that makes me laugh, she rakes up Mums bed and then jumps off the bed and goes to sleep on her smooth bed !

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  2. They really are the best dogs in the world :O) Pies already gone to bed, Ted is annoying the cat( the living one, not Pella)and Madge is downstairs incubating two cushions in front of the log fire.

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  3. That was too funny! Have been there too many times. Once one of the dogs got a hold of a feather pillow I'd forgot about- need I say more. Feathers every where, and she had only worked on half the pillow. Funny how they think we're so proud of them when we are ready to kill them!! BOL And then for some reason we keep on loving them. :)

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